Count Down

Day #2

Hello, and good morning everyone. Today is going to be a better day then yesterday. I was woken up by someone actually talking to me and before my mother started to talk to me, i have to be honest, if i wasn't woken up, that would've been the best sleep i got in awhile. My plans for today are going out christmas shopping again, and then at 2 pm i am getting my hair done at this new place (not new but i have never been there before) for this holiday make over promotion they have. DAMN GIRL the holiday makeover special promotion thing is a huge BANG FOR YOUR BUCK its such a good deal! its a value of 300$ but they are doing all the things included for 130$ ... holy holiday cheer. That is intense. Down side of it is that it takes 3 hours TT_____TT but whatever its worth it =P
today is gonna be a short entry cause i gotta get ready, but i'll update tonight =P soo its going to be a 2 posts in 1 day =)

xoxo
Vicky❤

13 more days

13 days left till new years eve/new years.
right now i feel like i should be blogging until the new year (since i am on my winter break i have time =P)

Day #1

Today i got woken up by my family talking really loud outside of my door -_-. Is it that hard to know that someone is sleeping and you should be quiet -_-;;. Right now i have no plans for today. I was suppose to go out and do some christmas shopping but, the car is gone so i can't go =(. Maybe i should take the bus? i dont know, i'm way to lazy to take the bus =P hehe lazy me. Which brings me to, i should be working out. I keep saying i'm going to go work out but i haven't really gone out and worked out. I dont really want to pay 5$ (i'm such a cheapo) to get into the gym to just run on the treadmill. I think that i should go out and actually run outside and stuff but the thing is, its way to cold!! I can't run in the cold. Also i dont think i'm as motivated if no one is running with me, seems that if i have someone to workout with me i would do a lot better in my performance. I want to loose a little bit of my tummy fat. Yea i know its just baby fat, but i'm sure i can slim it down a bit more =P. I also want to get more of an hour glass figure. I need to start being more motivated or else i'm gonna become a potato fatty (LOL)

As for school, i have some left over projects that i have to have done before i get back to school. I'm already failing history, so i think i should work harder on that subject then any other subject because in all my other subjects i have A's so yea.

Well i have no idea what to type about so i think this is a wrap.
Have a nice day world =P

baibai~~ I hope everyone is having an awesome holiday. Seasons greetins ^_____^

xoxo
Vicky❤

hello

Hi

Its been such a long time since i made a blog post. I guess i should just update my life?

School has been great. My grade have improved significantly but as for history class, shit i'm failing hard core on that fucking shit ass class. The professor is such a dumb out fucking prick, he is just soo i can't even elaborate on his attitude and how he treats his classes. Whatever enough stress and fuss over that stupid dumb shit. 

Friends. Since its a new year, around school there are some fucking weird ass looking people. Some people with shit faces i saw last year, and some new shit looking faces too. I dont give a shit if the person i hate the most reads this but whatever i dont wanna use a substitutional name for this particular individual. "TUBBERS" YOU DUMB FUCKING PANCAKE MINI VAN DUMP TRUCK GOSSIPING ASS LITTE FAT ASS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! You have no right to be saying shit about me when you dont know anything about me! You dont even know my real last name, the way my fucking voice sounds, or anything absolutely nothing about my life and my personality. So what makes you think that you can just trout around thinking that you run shit and that everyone likes you, when really the people you think that like you know what shit you say about them. You have no life or anything to do on your spare time so you just think that you can just be two faced and talk about people behind there backs and act like your there friend infront of them. Why the hell are you trying to impress or make everyone like you, when really, the whole world isn't gonna like you. Yeah, maybe some people will likes you, but research and science shows that you can't impress every single human being on this planet. There is something called "haters", and "trolls" that walk on this planet. So wake up and start growing up, your not 5 years old anymore. Stop acting like you think people dont know your really talking about them behind your back, because sorry hunny people are alot smarter then you think, they know shit, people talk, and the truth eventually comes out. So please do everyone a favour and grow the fuck up. Yea go ahead still talk about people, but say some shit about people that you actually know and the people that have done something bad to you. Instead of the people that you absolutely know nothing about. Thanks

As for that other little "SUCK UP"

You.. the suck up, the new girl that is trying to come into a new school. You stop trying to suck up to people just to get attention and to be liked. Make friends the proper way, the mature way, not the childish suck up way. Dont try to squeeze into the middle of the whole line so that when people walk by, they think that your the centre of attention, when they really know whats going on. Be more mature. The reason why you came whining to me about how people aren't accepting you or how everyone is giving you a weird vibe and aren't being as friendly is because they are realizing that your a huge ass baby that isn't growing up. They want you to become more mature and stop whining and sucking up. Start acting your own age. Stop trying to flash around your boobs and everything that you got when you know you know a boyfriend. Even though your boyfriend goes to a different school then you, doesn't mean that's a "oh lets try to get some more boys to like me" when your actual boyfriend isn't there. Seriously, know your place, and know that you in a relationship, start acting committed and maybe people will start to like you. Maybe for a change, stop acting like your someone your not, and start acting like yourself, cause people will accept you for the real you, not the fake you that is immature.

You "DOUBLE CHIN"

You are really annoying, i'm sorry but seriously, i dont like to share alot of things with people i am not comfortable being around, or that i am not use to. Please stop asking me about my relationships between people. Please stop asking me highschool things that are like "please tell me your secrets, the secrets about people and yourself too". Seriously grow up too. Stop trying to know every persons secrets, its private for a reason. The reason why these people tell me things is because i'm not as nosy as you and they tell me because we trust each other with these kinds of things, and have known each other for a long time. Stop acting your you know everyone when really you dont. Your jokes are going to far, yea they are funny, but offensive. Dont say to my face that i am skinny and then sign me up for some weight loss things saying that i need to loose weight. WTF IS THAT!?!? GETTING A CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ASKING IF I WANT TO GO ON A WEIGHT LOSS THING! thanks a fucking bunch your little bitch. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

enough about hating on people, it gets quite tiring. 

lets talk about the holidays.

OH YES Christmas, and New Years. 

Merry Merry Merry Christmas, And a Happy Happy Happy New Year <3

christmas isn't about whats under the christmas tree. Its about whats around the christmas tree. Christmas isn't really a time to get a load of presents, we are celebrating whats around us and the birth of Christ. It's a time to spend time with family, get together around a warm fire while eating a feast, with love and care.  People these days are sooo greedy. It's a fact that in the 21st century, the time where everyone goes into debt is during christmas. That is absolutely un necessary. That usual just means people are buying more and more gifts because thats what they think its all about. Trying to get as manny presents as possible under the christmas tree. Think of all those kids that down have this type of exchange where they get what they really want. Kids these days ask for TV's and Computers. More expensive things. ugh -_-

New years: People say that 2012 is the year that the world is going to end. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR and stfu. Really? REALLY??? you said that last year and probably the year before that, and guess what.... WE ARE STILL ON THE FUCKING EARTH (thats how i am kinda blogging right now, alive and healthy -_-) stupid people. For the new year i want to start a new. The year where there is more success, motivation, organization, caring, loving, less fighting, and more helping one another. I know it will be hard to do, but its worth a try at least =) if i dont succeed all these things, i know that i at least tried.. right?

What else can i talk about? hmmm well.... i'm not sure, and it is getting kinda late (its 1:24 am PST) soo i should be wrapping this up. I will also try to be posting more on this blog instead of my tumblr. =P

nighty night bloggers

xoxo

Vicky❤

Update Update

Hey Hey party peoples! Been quite busy with school and other shit that is going down.
so first I'll start with school

So school. The shit hole of everything. The place where you get your ass up early and enter hell. It has actually turned into something i dont really care if i go, dont make a huge deal about it in the mornings anymore. Grew up from that shit. I have actually been doing surprisingly well. But i think my bad habits are coming back, because this weekend i did nothing but mope around my house and do nothing. Probably the most exciting thing was go to starbucks to get my drink. But i didn't get any homework done =( which is horrible, and i still haven't got any of it done up till now. Im just here updating my blog cause i know i haven't done it in awhile. My english class is shit. i fucking hate the indian teacher (NOT INTENDED TO BE RACIST OKAY~~!?!?! LOL~~!!) She can't even speak the english language probably so how am i suppose to fucking learn or understand what she is even assigning?! Ugh i am stll trying really hard in that class but whatever. Then in history, i have some creepy ass teacher and shit. I think i might fail that class sadly =( but i will try my best to keep on top of it ( which i am not very ontop of it right now) Then comes math. The MOST BORING SHIT ASS CLASS EVER..... buuuuuuutttttt my proff makes it way funner =) i like him, he is very good at teaching. I have an A in the course so i am quite happy =) YAYAYAYAYAY

ENOUGH ABOUT SCHOOL... what next?!...

Family: My family and i have grown since the last time i have talked on here about them. It went from me hating them and not really talking to them to talking to them abit, and now actually talking to them about anything and just being open about it, but still keeping things from them. Can't be too open about everything right?! But yea now i stay at the dinner table more, and i am more talkative at the table too. more involved =) I have grown my relationship with my mother. I actually can tell her anything. She is so close to me, and i realize what she has done and what she is doing right now to help me be a better person or get what i want =) She grants so many wishes of mine, somethat i go back on but she still does it for me even though she knows what might happen, but she does it for my happiness. But i understand that she can't do everything, but i appreciate everything she is doing for me. My step father is still a work in progress type. More or less just.. on the D.L

NEXT....

Money: My money is .. idk its going everywhere. i am sooo tempted to spent it.. there are soooooo many things to buy -drooling face- TT_____TT shoes are soo beautiful -stares into picture with passion- UGH! soo many pretty things, but so little money. As everyone knows, i am trying to save up for NYC when i go there for my vacation. It's so hard not to buy anything but its like.. i am prepping myself for nyc but yet i need money to be there and shit =PP HEHE i am too much of a shopaholic, need some will power to make me stop shopping =PP

NEXXXXXXXTTTTTTT ^_____^... i guess love life?

ITS SHIT.. yea thats it. basically nothing is going on, just nothing. nothing is going my way or ntohing is what i want it to be, ntoihing is going on just nothing. I feel as if i am wasting my time, which i dont want to be cause i have very strong feelings for this one particular person, but he doesn't even say shit. and it pisses me the hell off. its like you fucking know i like you why dont you just say you dont like me so i can stop wasting your time and mine. it makes life easier cause i can obviously see you dont fucking like me or i dont have a chance so whatever. i'd rather go after someone that i know i would have a chance with, then guessing with you and just wondering and risking whatever. lol i am trying not to say anything and just let it go, but its always on my mind and thats what is kinda making me kinda sad and confused or scared. so its wahtever

hmm waht wat nexT?.... friends?

oh gawd friends... umm so its been kinda complicated... its on then i kinda just wanted to be alone for a bit then i just do wahtever, i just hang with who asks me first. and i dont you asked me to hang out and i am really sorry i didn't reply or anything its just someone else asked me and i never text you back =( i'm really sorry and that was one bitch ass move from me, and i know i should've texted you even if it was late, cause like i say all the time, better late then never, but i ugess i wasn't myself or thinking straight. i have just been .. out of my mind. You know that i am tlaking about you, and i want to just figure things out and not get you involved in it, but i know you are strong without me cause you always say you just need you and your boyfriend? so yea its not a difference if i am there or not there right? am i right? you never mention me in your posts just you and your boyfriend all the time, the only one you can trust is your boyfriend? so what am i not allowed to be mentioned in your posts? Yea when i say so much about you, and i get nothing back. I feel soo neglected. I need you there so i can tell you my feelings so i dont have to hold it in or take it out on anyone else. Just a friend to actually say what i want. The one i like or the teachers i had the homework load i have. I want to just have girl talk with you but .. yea its not the same anymore

Ugh this is probs really lonnnggg =P forgive me for your time <33

Smile because when you smile, It brings out everything beautiful about you <3

xoxo
Vicky❤

The condition

Even though i am in the worst condition possible, your presents will make me better .. even if its just a little.. i told you i would cherish it, and i intent to keep it that way. You are the best =) my statuses all say that I'll always be happy if you are always by my side <3 And thats true, cause you make me happy. You are someone special to me that i dont wanna loose, ever. If i was to ever loose you, i think i would be in the worst place possible and never be able to come back. I hope you never leave me...

I care about you, hope you know that.

xoxo
Vicky❤

early in the morning

its really early right nao to be blogging but whatever. i dont feel like going to class today, i feel like shit. Why did you have to leave? you left me alone, when i woke up you were gone, again without saying anything. Just like last time, you always do this to me? is it because of dad? is tat why? the sight of it just makes you feel uncomfortable. You never speak to me about your feelings when your here, but when i'm there you always do. What's up with that? i mean i am here for you always, why do you always have to leave liek that. i cry because you left me when i need you the most in my life, the only one that can actually come to the rescue in less than a day, but then you leave. thanks =( you know what i was and still am going through and you just do that to me? i told you everything, i open to you cause i love you, but yet you dont just because of him. You know everything, and you just ... wow whatever. I need you Jason... why can't you just accept what is  reality nao. Come back and help me

dont leave me alone here

xoxo
Vicky❤

soo... lol here it is

you asked me why am i avoiding that question... cause i dont know if i wanna say you
why am i pushing you away... cause you dont like me that way, and yea tbh i dont wanna get rejected to my face, so i'd rather leave with pride then to leave with shame or embarrassment

i really do like you, alot, i hardly know you but whatever. I appreciate everything that you've said to me. I always keep those things in mind. Your different from others. Others are so picky, and always want to change you, but you say that you should accept someone for who they are, dont change for people. Well i guess i dont have to change for you... well idk.. lol
You think your boring and lame/loser.. well i dont think that, i think you are amazing, you make me smile =) lol you make me feel really happy. I wish i was in the same place with you.
You risk your health to just talk to me late at night, which i really dont approve, but the thought that you would do that... is just wow, no one ever stays up. Im sorry i felt like a bitch tonight.. i'm really sorry. I just dont know how to act around you... lol hehe but i dont wanna stop whatever is going on LOL.

read my previous posts? it says i am scared to liek or do anything of that sort, you know why... But i might overcome it nao... Your helping me get through this, i would've never been able to get over it...

Your always on my mind.. its weird but yea LOL when i am listening to my music reminds me that you liek my music too LOL wwwweeeeeiiiiirrrrddddddd hmm idk random times, random things just yea weird ... relate to the conversations we have LOL! hmm idk what to say.

thats it LOL sorry but just dont wanna write my whole life on this. if you want to ask me something, ask me on private chat =) i'll be more open and i'll to think of what to do LOL soo yeeeeee i hope you had/have a good sleep =) and drink more water!! or tea? idk whatever ... and fix your sleeping pattern

xoxo
Vicky❤

black

This is the way you left me, i'm not pretending.
brace yourself for one of my stupidest biggest rants.
Im the most fucked up person. i guess life is just biting me more on the ass. If you were a person. i think i would fucking kill you. leave me the fuck alone. i dont need a life anymore. i can't even be with someone i like. or ever be loved again. I hate trying out love.  because i always get hurt, and i can never love someone cause it seems like i'm not good enough for them.  i try to make a fucking effort but you fucking shoot me down every time. You fucking happy im gonna fucking kill myself. i can't even call you, your phone doesnt have calling shit. because fuck idk. and i just wish it did so i could call you and shit because i am hurting so much, and your the only one on my mind right nao, that i wish i could talk to. it hurts soo much...
liek to add that i hate this person that made me like this.. that night that you made me cry thanks a bunch, your a fucking loser, and i dont need your type of person in my life, cause you guys are shit.... lol anyways idk how to finish this off but ye ye just gonna listen to music and yea ^_____________^ done done

xoxo
Vicky❤

The Search

You know what. Everyone wants to know what i frikin look for in a guy, well here it is gentlemen 

I NEED/WANT a guy that:

Understands me

can tell when somethings wrong

when i'm not happy

when i think somethings horrible

how to treat his girl right

spoils me occasionally 

surprises me with anything (dinners, shows up at my house with flowers etc.)

sweet talks me (-drools- makes me fall for someone in a heart beat)

that doesn't cheat

that is loyal

has good smile

min. decent body

good hair

isn't scared to meet my parents/able to be around my parents

comforts me when i'm not well

takes care of me

supports me

is there when i have a performance or something special

knows my style and how i shop/can shop with me

tolerate my jealousness and moodiness

good breathe (sorry no smoking)

good shoes

how about just good style in general

that can make me laugh

can be protective

love me like a love song

can open up to me

be honest

understandable

caring

loving

smart

makes me feel like i am the most special girl in the world

i'm the only one for him

that could miss me

someone that texts first once in awhile

calls me

answers me

doesn't exclude me from things/ dont feel left out

remembers the small things

I am looking for somewhat serious like probs 35% serious 65% fun or around those ratings

i dont wanna mess around and try to date as many people, cause i dont want to get hurt or hurt them

its complicated but these are just some things, guys dont have to have all of this, these are just what i look for. if you have most or i think you have most. 

You'll win my heart <3

hehe~~

xoxo

Vicky❤

A memory that i would want to remember..

What's one memory that you would want to remember?
Even if its just a fake memory or a real memory...
This is a fake memory

I would want to be in a beautiful open space in nature,sitting on a bench with someone that i love...

As we would talk and watch the sunset. i want to cherish the moments i have left with life and just be able to close my eyes while in the arms of whom will be at this place with me.

As my eyes are closed. I would imagine that all my problems and stress and pain, would just go away and set loose from my body to a different place. My body would just be clean with peacefulness. I take a deep breathe and think and express how i feel to my beloved. 

i would feel calm just like a very quiet sea

Relaxed as if i was on the most comfortable furniture i have ever been on

Then i would open my eyes and just look right into his eyes

As we stare at each other with his reckless eyes.

As we lean in and it becomes a reality memory.

But for nao, nothing is going to happen. I feel as if i am left alone in this world. No matter how hard i try and be kind and give all my love and care into something. It stabs me in the heart once again. 

I'm afraid to love or ever try anything again. 

Could i really give anything a chance again. 

I guess you dont deserve my tears. That why they ain't there

I wish i could live and forget. But no thats not how life works. 

Life's a bitch and its always ready to bite you in the fucking ass if you aren't watching what the fuck your doing. 

Your stupid to think that your life is perfect, cause i bet you you got bit in the ass with karma and life's a bitch. Deal with it

You think you could avoid that shit? 

your crazy to think so. As much as everyone wants to no

I need someone thats ready to take me in. That can understand what i need to get back to that person i was. That happy person i could be. I want to love... but i dont have the passion anymore.

This could be the end of something that was never meant to happen. Or it could be the start of something knew that i just needed to wait for. 

Who knows.

No one so dont try to say anything, i dont need to hear what you have to say unless i tell you that i want to hear it. otherwise dont waste your breathe on something that is not useful to me. Thanks

The person that i want to hear things from... You know who you are. And to be really truly honest. I need you more than anything right nao. I just.. do. But i know that it's not possible because you make it seem like your trying to push me away from you or that i dont belong or i dont have a chance with you, hinting me to leave you alone, but i dont wanna believe that that could be true. I wish you could feel the same way i feel about you, but then again, i never asked how you felt towards me, but i believe its not time for me to ask.

I have many reasons but i can't make them come out of my mouth, because i dont know how to express it. Understand please

I wish i could say, but i will say when the time is right. And only time can tell when that is.

M.I.A

xoxo

Vicky❤                                                                                

What's that suppose to mean??

Okay so i get the text at like 2 something in the morning, but the thing is my phone was dead so i didn't even know i got the text till i fully charged it in the morning. Anyway, so right nao i'm confused by it or just about to burst out in tears cause it hurts.

I wanna know what i "lied" about, so i could at least try to fix it or at the very least, give my story on it. But no you had to go off and just take whatever i lied about and believe it, and not confront me about it, and just not even say anything to me except on the text "sorry, i dont think we can chat anymore. I know you lied".
Wow gee thanks alot, how am i suppose to know what i lied about, and that was at random. I am actually kinda pissed but sad. I can't believe you wouldn't talk to me about this, but better yet, who the fuck told you i lied or some shit.

I never lied to you at all. What could i even lie to you about? answer me that. ugh well i have no idea what i am going to do but i hope i can fix it and be able to get it out there...

i'm done, its the end of the fucking summer and there's fucking drama. Wow thanks god. i guess i can't leave this shit can i? how about i just kill myself so i dont have to fucking be around this shit anymore. I never asked for it. That was the one thing i wanted to avoid was drama. I wanted to go all M.I.A and shit so i dont have to deal with it. just focus on my studies. but no.

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE... IMMA FUCKING KILL MYSELF
xoxo
Vicky❤

Bubble Pop!

Bubble pop, bubble pop
From the beginning to the end, don’t replace me
Or I’d rather meet another person
(Ooh ooh you)
Don’t complain
(Ooh ooh you)
What if I go out late at night to play?
What if I don’t answer my phone?
(Ooh ooh hey)
There ain’t any better than me for you
(Hey boy)
Don’t wish for more of me (ma boy)

Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop
(Ooh boy)
This about this (hey boy)
What do you see when you look at me? (ma boy)
Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop

You pretty little words when you smile politely
I don’t call you often (Huh huh)
You and me are doing well hey (Hey hey hey)
Bubble bubble pop pop
(Ooh ooh ooh)
What if I laugh sometimes when I’m depressed?
What if I suddenly don’t like you?
(Ooh ooh ooh)
Why do you keep doing that? You never knew me
(Hey boy) There ain’t any better than me for you
Don’t wish for more of me (ma boy)

Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop
(Ooh boy)
This about this (hey boy)
What do you see when you look at me? (ma boy)
Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop

Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop
There ain’t any better than me for you
Don’t wish for more of me

Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop
(Ooh boy)
This about this (hey boy)
What do you see when you look at me? (ma boy)
Your heart lies are like bubbles
Bubble bubble bubble pop
Bubble bubble pop pop

Do You Remember?

In the end of relationships there are two things that can happen. Either you fight for it or you let it fade away.

Do you remember.
There's a moment in every relationship where couples will be tested.
For the most part, it will end. If you truly love that person you will find a solution to something that has no answer if it continues to hurt you...
I know these words will never reach your ears or better yet, touch you heart.
Memories for now, its all i have.
A love story, that's what we were.
It started out like any love story, two complete strangers with two different paths.
Do you remember how we first met, it was at Mcdonalds (LOL!).
But the location doesn't mean as much as our feelings.
Our memories together has kept me strong enough to fight for this very moment with you.
I enjoyed our walks from your house to mine.
All the memories we shared walking down the same path daily with each other.
We watch how the seasons change.
From the green leaves, all the way to the vibrant colors of fall.
Even to the powder of white snow that coated our held hands together, while trying to keep each other warm.
I love the moments you held me from insecurities.
When i was scared walking by myself.
There are many places that we shared precious moments, such as enjoying a simple meal, but a meal was more than a meal with you.
Do you remember noodle box?
We shared all the times laughing, eating, connecting, or even making up after a fight.
Sometimes bubble tea was that apology and the words were unnecessary.
Do you remember classes together?
I felt more motivated to learn just because you were next to me, pushing me, guiding me.
The time where we thought were getting yelled at for talking so much.
The times where we sat in front, as if we were over achievers.
Do you remember the bus rides together.
We made bus rides fun, by sitting in our special spots.
Even if the weather was gloomy, I only had to look at the smile on your face to see the sun.
Just staying with you, waiting for the bus to come, made me appreciate each other.
Do you remember my house?
The place where we confessed each others feelings.
the place where you embraced me in your arms, when you said i was the cause of your butterflies.
The place where i sang to you in front of our friends.
The place where we cuddled and comforted each other.
The beginning you taught how to care.
You taught me how to open up
And most importantly..
You taught me how to love
Do you remember any of that?

xoxo
Vicky❤

First Love

I guess it's a part of life, you know? 
Being young, naive
We spend our whole childhood, crushing on someone, not even just looking for someone to be with 
I guess its natural though. Sort of like an instinct 
At a young age we want to be loved, and we look for that companionship and i dunno about you, but when i was with him, it felt right, and no we weren't together, but i knew he was the one 
Can you be in love with someone your not in a relationship with? 
To be honest, i dont know 
But then again, that feeling he gave me was un describable 
Anyways long story short i finally got the courage and talked to him, and i made him my boo
It was perfect 
Nothing, i mean nothing was getting in between us 
Late night phone calls, no sleep, i mean dropping grades that came with it 
Gifts, pictures, letter, texts, anything. You name it, we did it 
Memories, we had a box full 
Its funny, cause we would joke around about how many kids we would have, where we would live, or even getting married 
Looking back at it, it was kind of dumb 
But i believed with all my heart, that he would be the one that i would be with forever 
Until the fights started happening 
Little by little we started to fade 
Then all of a sudden it just ended, you know? 
I didn't just loose my boyfriend, i lost my best friend 
I dont know what hurts more, that we dont speak or when we speak its not he same 
I guess i knew the risk of falling for your friend, but you never think that your going to breakup with them, you know?
you always think its just going to be him and you, you and her 
Sometimes i just wanna tell you that i miss you 
Sometimes i just wanna hug you, i wanna kiss you, or even just have a conversation, or see how your doing. 
Do you think of me? 
Do you remember our first kiss? 
Do you remember how you were looking at me with those reckless eyes, and you told me you loved me for the first time? 
Cause i remember yours 
How could i forget 
And i just want you to know that i still think about you, from time to time 
I guess what i'm trying to say is... 
You never forget your...


First Love


xoxo


Vicky❤

Missing You

So i know or i think that you sometimes read my blogs, so i hope you see this.

all the fights and shit we went through, i'm sorry for all that. I want to be honest, and yea i wasn't really serious about you, but yea i guess i sorta played you like you said, and i'm sorry. i know i shouldn't have done that but i did, because well i just felt bad or i was just lonely at the time, and there was someone there for me, and yea i just basically never wanted anyone to leave me. because i felt so loved and special when you were there for me or with me. and all the things we planned i actually was looking forward to it, i know you probably dont believe me but yea i'm saying the truth right now.

Right now, i kinda miss talking to you, and i hate the fact that when we talk, its not the same, you always just ruin it. i wish when we talked that we would finally just talk normally without you just hating on me or trying to start a fight or not even knowing it that we start fighting because of what you said ! ugh it just makes me frustrated TT______TT BLAH!

so bascially i just wantd to say that i'm sorry, and i want you to answer my texts again or my messages on facebook so we can become frrineds again =) i know we might not be as close or something but i at least wanna be friends instead of in this shit, like we aren't talking anymore so yea...

thats it

xoxo
Vicky❤

finally ending

It's finally the end well, to basically everything. Everything that has happened in the month ofJuly is about to be in the past, and it will be time to move on =) new month. So lets just end the summer with the best month and what we can make fun of the month of august =)
I'll get my tan off at the beach and go shopping. All my friends will be back from there trips, so i will finally get to hang out. I especially miss my best friend Vy <3 MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONELY I AM !! LOL =P love you ~~

My new obsession song is "Best thing I never had"  by Beyonce <3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHp2KgyQUFk&ob=av2e
It's absolutely adorable, makes me smile and makes me remember and just laugh at what has happen.

If anyone of you are reading this that know what the hell happened. I am sincerely sorry <3 i hope that we can forget about everything that has happen. I am sorry about everything, and as for a matter of fact, i regret everything. So lets start/finish off happy =) forget that bullshit. Cause no one needs that shit. It made me feel horrible inside and out... as much as what my feelings were (stupid me) idk what came over me, and i hope it doesn't hold or keep or change etc. what you think of me. I hope you can remember me as that same girl i use to be. That girl i am trying to get back to =/ Please forgive me for what i have sinned. I really want this to be gone so please =/? (understand if you dont =))

Ugh so summer school was only two weeks and i have to admit that i am gonna miss it. it was actually quite fun, and hey! at least i wasn't being a lazy ass and laying around in bed. i actually got up did my makeup and went to school to pass math =P. Even though my parents aren't happy i failed they are still pretty pissed at me for some sort of reason because i had an A and then i just kinda started to get lazy and now i am sitting at a C+ and i dont think they are gonna be very happy. but seriously i am trying really hard to get good on my final tomorrow, its my last day tomorrow of full hours of summer school. LETS finish it hard  (yea yea thats what she said -0-) Then all i have is just friday to pick up my report card =P

Gymnastics. I know i have only been there for 2 weeks, but i am really happy with the friends i made there, and what i have learned to do in gymnastics. I hope it helps me in cheerleading =P yesh ^_____^ i have improved on the stuff i already knew how to do, and now i am learning new things =) love learning new things.

Summer is slowly ending sadly, but my goal for the new year. As much as i know its crazy to hear this and i know its very hard to do, but i will try my best. I will try my best to stay away from starting shit/drama and just get some good grades. I'll still have a little bad ass in me (like skipping classes once in awhile =P) But hey! you only live once. Make it worth living for. Cause once your born your already slowly dying. So just live the way you want live to be lived. Cause your already dying in a way =P act liek it would be your last day. Be happy =) find yourself, what makes you happy. If your not happy then get a paper write the things you dont like about yourself and on the back of it, write how your going to fix it. And if it can't be fixed then your ognna have to except that right now in your life that can't be fixed but it will be fixed at one point hopefully =) just believe in yourself and you will get somewhere ^___^

ugh well i better get to studying for my final cause i am not studying at all (bad me=() but yea Love you all

Smile, and take care cause i care <3

xoxo
Vicky ❤

SISTAR!

Baby stop breaking my heart
Your heard me? No more “next time”
I hope you got that boy
Hey girls, it’s gonna be alright
Hey boys, better make it right
Hey girls, we got ya back

You said you knew even if I said nothing
You know my heart somehow, right?
So I believed, I was patient, and I waited
You said you wouldn’t leave me by myself
You promised, pinky-swore
So why are you lying again?

Is it that hard to say “I love you”?
It’s just one phrase
You keep changing, I’m becoming exhausted
As time passes I get more confused
The more I like you, the more I’m hurt
(Why you trippin’ boy?) Look at me

Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
You don’t know love, my heart hurts
Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
There’s no way you know how I feel
Don’t let me down boy

I’m going crazy because of you
Why ya try ‘n play games with me?
Because of you everyday
I go up and down several times
Don’t let me down
I cry every night (no, no)
Stop breaking my heart

You don’t know how I feel, your eyes wander
What I got, what you lookin’ for?
Don’t look at other women
This is my last warning (oh no)
This gon’ be the last time

Is it that hard to say “I love you”?
It’s just one phrase
You keep changing, I’m becoming exhausted
As time passes I get more confused
The more I like you, the more I’m hurt
(Why you trippin’ boy?) Look at me

Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
You don’t know love, my heart hurts
Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
There’s no way you know how I feel
Don’t let me down boy

Woo boy, the more I like you
Woo boy, do you know how I feel?
The small whispers of my heart
The warm looks you give me sometimes
I just need one of those, I only want you
You still don’t know my heart

Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
You don’t know love, my heart hurts
Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
There’s no way you know how I feel
Don’t let me down boy

Ma boy

down..

Words can't describe what i feel... but since i feel like blogging i will try to express it..

i feel so torn apart. i feel like once i think things are going so well they just end up not.... they start hurting me, or leave me behind in the dust. Used like some kind of tissue or used to get over something, so whatever we shared was just some kind of joke. My heart feels like it never wants to  be loved or is scared to be loved. I don't have the strength to keep trying to pull myself up again. Because if i try to, and i try to believe i wont be ripped apart... it happens and i go down hill... once again.

I can't be the same as i was before =( not until i find what i really need to go on in life.

That makes me feel like shit. i want to go back.. i wish i never was this, or have done the things i have done.

"should i? Should've? What if..." these are the words that makes us hesitate in life. i wish i could've done better. i wish i could get what i want. i know i sound selfish but i want it to always go my way... or at least most of the time. and i am sure everyone can't deny that they would like that to happen to... =/

All my happiness is gone. i want it back,  but i don't think i will ever get it back. Whoever took it, i want to say that i am in so much pain. i wish you could see what i am really going through. No one see's what i really feel or really want to act like. i hind it from everyone, so i wont hurt them. If i ever show what i really want to unleash ...... i don't think i would be able to stop myself once i start.... i don't want people to be hurt, so i will keep it hidden.

My body is slowly breaking down....

xoxo

Vicky❤

It hurts

its been awhile since i blogged, but you know what. whatever, i'm getting it in now =)

why does it hurt so badly just to like you? can't you just talk to me. you don't seem like you mean what you say to me. seems like your just playing around. can't you see i like you a lot and i want to be with you so badly. overtime i think of you i just think of what you say to me, the sweet things, all the nice beautiful things you said about me. i just need to be able to be with you to see how you really feel about me...

it just hurts really bad knowing that i want you and your not here to be with me. or your just not feeling the same. so answer my messages and tell me how you really feel. show me the real you that seems so sweet kind and gentle, with of hint of gangsterness i like =)

i wanna be real, and serious. just me and you all the time. i hope you can see that, and my true feelings.

xoxo
Vicky ❤

yea ...

 just idk felt like putting this up LOL

xoxo 

Vicky❤

The Show Goes On

ye ye dance show tomorrow right, sooo pumped!

dance numbers i will be doing is

on the floor
rain and rainbows
on the dance floor
so much betta =)

EXCITED! gahh


videos will be up on my personal channel

so to my friends that are reading this, PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THE VIDEO UPLOADED TOMORROW =)

xoxo

Vicky❤

GYM!

WOTO WOOT finally went to the gym today ^______^ soo firkin happy.
planning to go next weekend again =P lol except next time i will actually be prepared and do a swim workout and stuff =)

whenever i go to the gym i feel soo good afterwards because, like its me loosing some weight, and actually exercising, and not being  couch potato.

updates will be more happier and frequent =)

xoxo

Vicky❤

A Work Of Art

some pictures of some of my dance poses with my friends =)

enjoy <3

The Dance Group =) 

xoxoxo 

Take with passion

Vicky❤