A memory that i would want to remember..

What's one memory that you would want to remember?
Even if its just a fake memory or a real memory...
This is a fake memory

I would want to be in a beautiful open space in nature,sitting on a bench with someone that i love...

As we would talk and watch the sunset. i want to cherish the moments i have left with life and just be able to close my eyes while in the arms of whom will be at this place with me.

As my eyes are closed. I would imagine that all my problems and stress and pain, would just go away and set loose from my body to a different place. My body would just be clean with peacefulness. I take a deep breathe and think and express how i feel to my beloved. 

i would feel calm just like a very quiet sea

Relaxed as if i was on the most comfortable furniture i have ever been on

Then i would open my eyes and just look right into his eyes

As we stare at each other with his reckless eyes.

As we lean in and it becomes a reality memory.

But for nao, nothing is going to happen. I feel as if i am left alone in this world. No matter how hard i try and be kind and give all my love and care into something. It stabs me in the heart once again. 

I'm afraid to love or ever try anything again. 

Could i really give anything a chance again. 

I guess you dont deserve my tears. That why they ain't there

I wish i could live and forget. But no thats not how life works. 

Life's a bitch and its always ready to bite you in the fucking ass if you aren't watching what the fuck your doing. 

Your stupid to think that your life is perfect, cause i bet you you got bit in the ass with karma and life's a bitch. Deal with it

You think you could avoid that shit? 

your crazy to think so. As much as everyone wants to no

I need someone thats ready to take me in. That can understand what i need to get back to that person i was. That happy person i could be. I want to love... but i dont have the passion anymore.

This could be the end of something that was never meant to happen. Or it could be the start of something knew that i just needed to wait for. 

Who knows.

No one so dont try to say anything, i dont need to hear what you have to say unless i tell you that i want to hear it. otherwise dont waste your breathe on something that is not useful to me. Thanks

The person that i want to hear things from... You know who you are. And to be really truly honest. I need you more than anything right nao. I just.. do. But i know that it's not possible because you make it seem like your trying to push me away from you or that i dont belong or i dont have a chance with you, hinting me to leave you alone, but i dont wanna believe that that could be true. I wish you could feel the same way i feel about you, but then again, i never asked how you felt towards me, but i believe its not time for me to ask.

I have many reasons but i can't make them come out of my mouth, because i dont know how to express it. Understand please

I wish i could say, but i will say when the time is right. And only time can tell when that is.

M.I.A

xoxo

Vicky❤