Could This Be The Move To My Happiness?!

GAHH!!! this could finally be my last shot at taking my happiness back into the normal state. But i don't want to say anything or too much cause i will get too excited and then if it doesn't happen. I will be crushed so hard. i think i might cry soo badly if i don't get to do this TT_____TT but i have to try to get what i want and to be happy again.

I'll keep you posted/updated on this =)

I know you have a beautiful smile, so why not show it =)

xoxo
Vicky❤

Ma Nails

Fabulous nails hehe 

i got my nails done at my best friends aunts place.

Absolutely love them to death <3 there gorgeous heheh

if you wanna know where i got them done 

i got them done at famous nails and tis grand opening soo its 15% off =) great deal

Life Just Got A lot Better

As life passed by i thought that my life was going in a spiral downward motion heading for the worst part of my life. The failure that i brought to my family. The stress and drama from my friends and teachers. I thought life was going to just be a bitch to me and just fucking do shit, and not give me some hope and feeling that it would get better

Well that has changed. Life just got a little better. Tomorrow I get my braces off. After 2 years of having them. Having my teeth being from all messed up and ugly, to now all straight and perfect. I am really excited.

Another one: Is that i am finally passing all my courses. I am extremely proud of myself for putting in effort and time to study and do well in all my courses. But i have to admit i will have to work on the math. But other than that. I pat myself on the shoulders. ^_______^

Family. I have been waaay better to my family. I treat them better, actually spend time with them, like as in going out to the movies, or eating out with them at nice places. Just those little things make life, well my life way better.

Last, my love life.
My love has been a total mess lately, and it still is very hectic. I don't know what to do about it. i can't fix that one problem. I think it will take a very long time to mend that one thing. But there has been something, or i should say someone that stepped in to men that hole in my heart for now. And it just made my day a lot better. Made me have confidence. I am very happy right now. and That main person is the reason why most of my life has been back to the happy state. I am glad i didn't stop.

Even though i have other things that are still messing up my life. These things are helping me push those negative things out of my way to focus on what really is making me happy and not holding me back from my happiness. And that is really all that matters right? That everyone can be happy. Something at least makes them happy. And it is really great to find something or someone that help you be able to find it.

Anyways its getting late, and i must go to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow, must hurry and run around town a lot trying to make times right =)


Smile & Take Care Because I Care <3
xoxo

Vicky❤

Manic Depression

lately, i cannot think straight. As much as i try or think that i am going to try hard in school or do really good, or start concentrating and just succeeding, it never happens. My parents are giving me the hardest times right now. Frankly they are using something against me right now that they think is helping me, when really, i could care less about that thing now.
I just want summer to be here already. So i can relax, and actually just be free. away from fucking school. i can't take this anymore. I just feel like having a mental breakdown. Just staying at home trying to recover all my stressed out ness -0-. Everything is just going the opposite was i want it to actually go.
I want to go on a vacation.
Take a break from all this drama
This Stress
This Work
Just ...
i want to be in peace.
Nothing to worry about
Just me in bliss, with the people i want to actually be with, and care about
I never asked for this shit to happen to me. No one really wants shit.

Can't Wait Till I'm Out.
Just Being Independent
Doing my dream
Being with the people i want to be with
Just happy
i can't say that i don't want stress, cause that wont ever happen
but what i do want, is less stress. Stress i can actually control. Not stress so much that i can't even control my own actions, or the way i feel anymore
I feel like i don't even know myself anymore because this monster is just changing me

todaloo =P xoxo
Dream High

Vicky❤

Understanding

all alone
it's okay
I know my girls got my back
I can handle that
and get through my day
on my own
but it's alright
they be chasing
but I ain't wasting
I don't fall for these guys
I'd rather be single (getting the attention)
and run around you know (did i forget to mention)
that I broke it off
with him, it's about time
he was holding me back (missing opportunities)
but I ain't like that (blowing off these cuties)
if anything I wish that I could rewind
I'm afraid to love
i'm afraid to try
but I'm better on my own
having a good time
he made me weak
he made me blind
over the years i've grown
and now I realize
i'm better off alone, I
now I'm strong
safe to say
It's finally reality
I got him out of my way
I was wrong
playing safe
now I can do whatever, I won't say never
I won't push boys away
so let me have fun (gotta keep em coming)
I'm in no rush (I got time for loving)
everything I do there's no appreciation
you've had your chance (then you went and blew it)
been there, done that (I always thought u knew it)
you always say that you don't get the situation
I might be conceited
you better believe it
I got I them boys crawling on their knees for me
and I can't, I've spent
precious time on you
when "I'm sorry" just won't do
I'm better off without you


xoxo 
Vicky❤

new hair... gone lighter =)

loving the new hair... sorta... i guess the bottom layers should be lighter but whatever..
<3 lol rocking the school spirit with the PURPLE & GOLD colors for our school lol..
got some weird looks cause of the face paint when i went to best buy =PP whatevs <3
GO MD! wOOOO

Smiling Is Sometimes Awkward.... But Still! You Should Smile.. So Don't Forget <3
xoxo
Vicky❤

RAMS ^_______^

R to the A to the M to the S!! woot woot
pep rally was too... yay? ugh it wasn't as good as the fall one but oh well =)
now i have to study for a huge ass firkin science test right now TT.TT gotta drink lots of coffee and A this test or i fail for my first term in second semester .. NO! i will be grounded :( MUST PASS!! FIGHTING~~

Don't Forget Your Smiles.. Even If You Are A Scary Poker Faced Person ^_________^
xoxo
Vicky❤

Do you really know?

Do you really know if  anyone can actually be a true friend. In my life experiences so far. I have never really found a human being, that has not at least gossiped once, or just backstabbed someone in the back... lol.
Everyone has at least gossiped and talked shit about someone once in there life.
So everyone that says "oh i want to find someone that is soo true and doesn't talk shit or start drama etc" i say you can dream on... the chances of finding someone like that is slim to none. If you do find someone that is like that. Call me up, i'll see for myself. =P

Inner Beauty Is What Makes You, Who You Are Today <3
xoxo smile =D your always on camera ^________^

Vicky❤

Hair Crisis

i want to go lighter .... its not the color i was going for .. i wanted lighter.. but you know i was expecting it. i mean it did go from black to light brown. but gonna re dye it for a lighter brown... BTW that was edited... so you could see the color better... defs don't look like that for reals TT.TT sadly

Vicky❤

Not The Cherry On Top

Recently i have been really stressed out, and a craving for a new change or a new look for me. Life has been so hectic, and i always say i will try harder or try to be successful, but i end up being so lazy to even do anything. So i will spilt these stressful things into parts/paragraphs. Just to separate each thing from one another.  colors my vary


..:: School ::..
Oh school, the joy of it -0-
I'm into my second semester of secondary school. For my subjects I have in first period Math with this psycho teacher. One time I skipped class, cause well I didn't want to go to her class obviously. The next day when I go into class, she comes straight up to me and asks me where I was the previous day. I kinda lied (which is totally bad don't do it =//) and instead of taking it outside and talking to me, like mature people in high school. She just raises her voice at me in front of the whole class. Seriously, what is that?! She also teaches math horribly. And having a bad teacher or a good teacher effects on how you do in that certain class, well at least for me. Right now i have probably at 54% in that class or just a tad bit higher in that. I have to admit, it is also on how much I put effort into that class, and at the moment, i'm not putting that much effort. Second period i have dance. Now dance, I just absolutely am in love with. It gives me the work out i want without sweating or getting gross after that class, but still keeps me thin. I enjoy the class so much, but I wish it was at the end of the day. I would love to end my day at school with a little bit of dance. But I thats okay =D. Third period (after my lunch break) i have foods. Food -0- what can I say. You cook probably only 2 days a week then the rest is worksheets. I basically fail that class, cause I don't do the work sheets. -0- But I really should. Fourth period, I have science. OMG science... at first I loved science. Everyday after school I would come home, go on my computer, and start typing out the notes from science from that day. But now ever since I missed a day of school, and missed a HUGE test (our second test with this teacher) that was out of 75. I had no idea there was gonna be a test, well... I did but I just forgot the date =0 oops... lol
The teacher yelled at me because I was talking to my friend beside me that had just got back her test. So therefore it looked like I was trying to get the answers for the test, well basically cheating. But I wasn't. Anyways, the teacher said to me "oh your just gonna sit there? knowing there was a test, and not be a mature person, and ask to take the test. Instead you sit there looking at such and such's test? Thats just ignorant of you. I should not let you take the test, and just give you a 0. How does that sound?" UGH I was so frustrated. From that day, it made me hate that teacher, and that teacher also hates me. I try to avoid the two teachers that hate me =/ ugh TT.TT life at school. Oh then there is just one more thing to fit here in the topic of school. The people there. Just straight up. There all two faced. And I can least admit that I do act two faced. And I feel kinda bad for it. But  you know what, I just do it, because there are people that talk to me, and I will have no idea what they are talking about, so i just say " uh huh, yea totally agree =)" just so they will leave me alone, but they always end up coming back =// I feel bad. I feel I need to stop doing that =(. Influenced by people around me, so I ended up like that =/


..:: Friends ::..
Some of my friends, just flat out effing suck ass. So recently, and by recently I mean 2 days ago, on friday. I'll tell you the story. The last sunday before spring break ended for me, my friend (leaving name anonymous) is having problems with her boyfriend. She told me her boyfriend had said to her that they need time about to think about what been going on between them two. After she quickly messaged me afterwards and told me, and asked me to hang a sleepover with her, to get a makeover, and to just talk about whats been going on in our lives. She asks to do it on friday, right after school. I agree to it. All week we plan this. She is saying oh yea totally psyched for friday =) haha~ Friday comes, and we go to shopper drug mart to buy hair dye. We get there, and she forgets her wallet. I have to pay for her. Yea at first I didn't mind, I could spare her. That total comes to around 40$, she owes me 25$. Then we get to my house getting ready and stuff. Then she asks me if she can have my hair extensions. I had first said no, and she wouldn't stop bothering me about having them. So in the end, I said fine just have them. Thats like 250$ down the drain, now I have no hair extensions, so I will have to buy some new ones. anyways, she tells me, oh we can't sleepover tonight. I was kinda pissed off, cause she was starting to get on my nerves. She is the one that asked me for sleepover, and she cancels? Thats just, UGH! idk how to describe, but I mean, why ask me, if you know we aren't going to sleepover, and not tell me the reason why. Anyways, I say oh okay:( thats fine. She says to me, oh I PROMISE tomorrow we will. Tomorrow comes, I text her in the morning to make sure we are still on for tonight. I don't get a text back till about 7:45 pm, and she tells me. Oh i have tutor right now. I asked her right after when you done? * no texts back* Hour passes by, "Oh okay i'm done tutor now, how about we do sleepover next week". I say " why not today?" No text back for another hour and a half " i didn't know my parents would be home". I say " so? we can't still have fun?" no text back. I keep my dad waiting up just to see if he can drive me cause obvs i can't drive there myself in pitch dark, so i ended up talking off all my makeup, and eating away my feelings with ice-cream. TT.TT friends suck she totally blew me off. UGH she wont pay me back either :( . But thats just a recent event TT.TT there was a lot more before with other friends. moving on...


..:: Money Issues ::..
I get money from my parents. Yea, yea I know, people are thinking * what a spoiled girl* -0- but you know what, I actually want to work, to earn more money. But heres the thing. My mom and dad don't want me to work during school. Now your thinking *why not work in summer* well there is a reason. I have a special someone visiting me, and they don't know the place I love very well... So I have to stay with them, so they wont get lost. And also, I am only able to see this person, hardly ever... maybe once a year. Anyways, I am always trying to find a job, but I can't really apply for anything, because of my age, but once I turn a good age, where they hire teenagers at my age. Also, I lend, or pitch in the most money to my friends. And a lot of them owe me money, but I just let it go because I don't want to stress over trying to get back the money. But now I am trying to get out of that.


..:: Family ::..
Last but not least the family. I feel I don't communicate with my family very much. I mostly tell my dad about drinking or something like that cause he understands it more than from my mom. And I tell my mom about grades and boys, and just other things, because she understands it more than my dad, and its kinda awkward to talk about that stuff with my dad. I never keep anything really from my parents. I'm an open book to them. I know this is kinda mean, but one of my friends asked me " if your parents got divorced, who would you want to live with more?". I chose my mom. I feel more open to my mom, and less embarrassed to be around her, or be with her in public. 


Okey This is a really really long blog post. I promise I wont have anymore long ones like this for awhile, lol partly because people wont want to read a post thing long, but also, it takes soo long to do it, and I am too lazy =PP


Smile, your all beautiful 
Vicky❤