down..

Words can't describe what i feel... but since i feel like blogging i will try to express it..

i feel so torn apart. i feel like once i think things are going so well they just end up not.... they start hurting me, or leave me behind in the dust. Used like some kind of tissue or used to get over something, so whatever we shared was just some kind of joke. My heart feels like it never wants to  be loved or is scared to be loved. I don't have the strength to keep trying to pull myself up again. Because if i try to, and i try to believe i wont be ripped apart... it happens and i go down hill... once again.

I can't be the same as i was before =( not until i find what i really need to go on in life.

That makes me feel like shit. i want to go back.. i wish i never was this, or have done the things i have done.

"should i? Should've? What if..." these are the words that makes us hesitate in life. i wish i could've done better. i wish i could get what i want. i know i sound selfish but i want it to always go my way... or at least most of the time. and i am sure everyone can't deny that they would like that to happen to... =/

All my happiness is gone. i want it back,  but i don't think i will ever get it back. Whoever took it, i want to say that i am in so much pain. i wish you could see what i am really going through. No one see's what i really feel or really want to act like. i hind it from everyone, so i wont hurt them. If i ever show what i really want to unleash ...... i don't think i would be able to stop myself once i start.... i don't want people to be hurt, so i will keep it hidden.

My body is slowly breaking down....

xoxo

Vicky❤