So it's been hard to keep things off my mind. I just need to keep typing it out to just release it from my mind and heart.
I find myself spending time at work faking a smile and just getting by just to be able to pay my bills. But when I'm home I just want to lock myself in my room and shut everyone out. I can't even do anything without something reminding of the days we use to be... Use to be lovers, use to be friends... The hard thing about this recovery process is that the more I think and talk about it with my psychiatrist the only way to get past this is to remove him from my life. It will bring more pain to myself and i won't be able to heal properly. But i don't want to lose all our memories together from when we first met in grade 8. In Mr. Reids science room and the new student that was England had moved here mid term. Fast forward to high school and me commenting on a planet of the apes post you had put up haha and that's how we started this crazy journey together. To us meaning something to each other but not really knowing how each other felt. And fast forward with time bringing us back together to start this amazing love story. and now... its done.
A part of me really wants to wait for you and come back to me so we can try to fix things but I know in my heart that you'll never want to and yea..
Idk what to do
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